


Will He Regret This?

by nerdyhawaiian



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff and Angst, Insecure Alec Lightwood, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-07
Updated: 2017-03-07
Packaged: 2018-09-30 14:52:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,873
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10165412
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nerdyhawaiian/pseuds/nerdyhawaiian
Summary: An exchange with one of Magnus' exes has Alec questioning his relationship with Magnus.  Magnus may want to be with Alec now, but what if down the road he regrets choosing him.I suck at summaries, please give this a chance.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I came up with this while reading some other stories. I have a friend who is bisexual and their current partner asked them if they ever missed the other gender. Those two things came together and this story was born. I hope you enjoy it.

There were days where Alec Lightwood was still shocked that he got to call Magnus his. Shocked that the most beautiful man that he has ever laid eyes upon chooses to be with him, even with the problems that come from one being the High Warlock of Brooklyn and the other being a Shadowhunter. Nights like this one where it was just the two of them walking together hand in hand through the streets of New York made Alec ever wonder why he thought that having something like this could ever be wrong.

Alec and Magnus had been together now for 6 months and tonight was their anniversary. Magnus had a special night plan, and although Alec hated when Magnus did anything too elaborate he was excited to see what the night had in store for him.

“So where exactly are we going?” Alec asked. They had been walking now for quite some time and there is only so long a Shadowhunter can be patient for.

“We’re almost there, Alexander. You need only be patient for a few minutes more.” Magnus brought their entwined hands together and placed a sweet kiss upon the back of Alec’s hand. The small action shouldn’t bring butterflies to his stomach, but even after all this time Alec couldn’t get over the way Magnus made him feel.

After a few more minutes of walking, they came upon an Ethiopian restaurant. “Is this the place that you always said you were going to take me, but every time something stopped us from going?”

“Yes, Alexander. This was the first place that I wanted to take you on a date and I’ve never got to. I figured that since we’ve been together for 6 months, it would be the perfect location for our date. Then after this,” Magnus moved to wrap his arms around Alec’s neck, “we could go back to my place and have a nightcap.”

“That sounds nice.” Alec smiled and moved to meet his lips with Magnus’. That was another thing that he couldn’t get over, kissing Magnus. It felt as natural to him as breathing and if he could spend the rest of his days kissing those perfect lips, he would be content.

A voice clearing their throat caused them to separate. “Pardon me, Mr. Bane, but your table is ready.”

“Thank you.” They began moving towards the back of the room to a more secluded area when a voice caught their attention.

“Magnus?” They turned around to see a beautiful woman in a red dress standing up and moving towards them. “Magnus Bane, is that you?”

Magnus looked stunned, “Sophia, is that you? It’s been what? 50 years?”

“I believe it has, but what is 50 years to a couple of immortals like us.” Her eyes flashed to become 2 blue orbs, marking her as a warlock. “How have you been? I haven’t seen you since we parted ways after that intense week we had together. I almost didn’t recognize you with all your clothes on.”

Alec looked away, attempting to hide his discomfort. He knew that Magnus had exes, hell he had 17,000 of them, but it still sucked to know that there are some that are better fit for him.

“Well times have changed, but your body looks as amazing as it did all those years ago.” Alec looked over at Magnus and saw the man raking his eyes over the beautiful woman’s body. Magnus must’ve sensed that Alec was looking at him because Magnus looked over and their eyes met. Alec tried to hide the sadness behind his eyes and attempted to put on a face of support or whatever Magnus needed to see. “Sophia, let me introduce you to my boyfriend, this is Alexander Lightwood.”

“Delighted to meet you. I see you have gone back to being with men. I thought I had swung you over to the heterosexual persuasion.”

“No, I am still a very proud bisexual.”

“So many women you are missing out with.”

“I don’t need any of them. I’m with Alexander and I love him. I choose to be with him and right now I am going to go be with him for our date. Goodbye Sophia, it was nice seeing you.”

“Goodbye Magnus, it was great seeing you as well. Alexander, you take care of that man, he’s a good one.”

Alec tried to respond but he couldn’t find his voice. He couldn’t get her words out of his head. Was Magnus happy with being with him? Or does he wish that he could be with a Woman instead of a man. I mean according to Sophia, Magnus loved being with women. The way that Magnus looked over her body also showed that he greatly appreciated the female form. On top of all that, Sophia was a warlock. She understood Magnus in a way that Alec never would.

“Alexander?” Magnus’ voice brought Alec out of his head. “I apologize for Sophia. I shouldn’t have let her interrupt our date, but now it will be just you and me. This night is about us.”

“Ok.” Alec needed to do his best for Magnus to forget about his insecurities. “I love you, Magnus.”

“I love you, too.”

With that they continued their date and enjoyed each other’s presence, but no matter how hard he tried. Alec couldn’t get the thought that may be wasn’t the best choice for Magnus out of his head. Sure, Magnus said that he loved him and Alec knew that it was true, but what happened if one day he regrets being with a man or regrets being with a Shadowhunter. Alec didn’t think he would be able to survive if Magnus left him. He had grown too dependent on him, needed his comfort after difficult battles and love on days where he was feeling dejected.

After they finished their meal, they went outside and Magnus portaled them to his apartment. I guess there was no more desire for a peaceful walk through the city. Magnus pulled Alec into the living room and directed him to sit on the couch.

“Alexander, darling, what is wrong?”

“Nothing.” Alec looked down at their entwined hands. Enjoying every moment he could have with Magnus before it was all over.

“Don’t lie to me. I asked you to not push me away and right now I can see that you are building up those walls that I spent so long working to break down. Is this about what Sophia said?” Alec tried to keep from reacting but he couldn’t hold back his flinch. “It is isn’t it? Alexander, you must know, that the reason I left Sophia is because of her close mindedness. She didn’t believe that Bisexuality was a thing. She thought that I was just a heterosexual person who enjoyed ‘experimenting’ with other men. That’s the reason I left her.”

Alec took his hand from Magnus’ and stood up and walked over to the balcony. He felt more secure when he was standing and needed to be strong in case this was the last time he was with Magnus.

“Alexander, please talk to me.” Alec turned to see that Magnus had followed him out to the balcony.

“Do you miss it?”

“Miss what?”

“Do you miss being with a woman?” He turned his back to Magnus once again, knowing that he couldn’t say what he needed to say if he was looking into Magnus’ eyes. “I saw the way your eyes lingered over her body. I may not be attracted to women but I can see how others could be.”

“Alexander, please look at me.” It was only the pleading in Magnus’ voice that had Alec turn around. The look of devastation on his face was enough to make Alec want to throw all his negative thoughts out of his head and wrap his arms around his warlock. “I admit that I have been with both Men and Women, but I don’t miss the other when I’m with someone. I am with the person I choose regardless of their gender and I choose you.”

The intensity of Magnus’ stare made Alec walk away from him. How could he continue what he needs to do when there was so much love in those eyes. “You choose me now, but what happens when I continue to age and you remain young and beautiful forever. What if later on down the road you regret being with a tough, scarred man and want to be with a soft, tender female. Can you tell me right now that you won’t regret being with me later on? That when I’m gone you won’t look back and regret the time you spent with me?” Alec could feel the tears fall down his face.

“Alexander,” Magnus placed a hand on Alec’s shoulder, “please look at me.” Alec slowly turned to face the man that he loved and noticed that tears were also falling down his face. Alec hated that he was the one that brought that pain to Magnus. “Do you think so little of how I feel for you? Do you not think it terrifies me that one day you may leave me?”

“I would never leave you.”

“Not willingly, but in the past few months there have been a number of close calls. I’ve had to bring you from the brink of death too many times. Every time you leave to go on a hunt I am terrified that this will be the time you don’t return. You are the most beautiful man that I have ever seen. And you’re just that, a man. I don’t want a woman. I want the cute guy that blushes every time I take his hand. I want the strong man that makes me feel secure in his arms. Never doubt that I love you. Never doubt that regardless of everything that we have lying in front of us, I will never regret the time that we spend together.”

Alec crumpled into Magnus’ arms and wrapped his arms around the man he loves. “I love you too Magnus. It just doesn’t make sense. How can someone as amazing and powerful and beautiful as you ever want to be with someone as broken as me? I think I keep waiting for you to realize that you could do better and leave me.”

“Why would I ever leave the man that was brave enough to stand up to his parents and admit who he truly is on the inside? Why would I leave someone that puts those he cares about before himself? I could never leave you. I love you too much to ever leave your side.”

“I love you too, Magnus. I’m sorry for ever doubting you.”

“Don’t apologize. I’m glad you are open with sharing your insecurities with me. That’s the only way this relationship will continue to grow.”

“I don’t deserve you.”

“Oh well, you’re stuck with me for as long as you live.”

“I’m ok with that.” With that their lips met. Alec may still have his insecurities but one thing he will never doubt again is how much he is loved by this man and how much Alec loves him right back.


End file.
